Language: your will, your words and your deed.

As your will- so is your deed.

I am somebody who likes to practice guided meditation. I scour many of them, have my favourites, and guide others through energy centre cleansing meditations too…women with bellies, with womb babies who jump at the navel- Orange sacral chakra expansion. Children, who marvel at the brightness of the colours that they are envisioning and tingle with white light at their fingertips. Others who sit bedside the reiki table, contemplating healing and focusing on becoming present.

Upon listening to one recent guided meditation in a 21 days series by Deepak Chopra before I rose out of bed for the day ahead, I heard a few words that pierced my senses. I was not sinking into my pillow, I was unsuccessfully contemplating the pause in my breath, for my mind had been piqued by a suggestion so strong in context that I had to sit up and scribble it on my notepad next to me.

‘As your will- so is your deed’.

I transported myself out of what this meant to me and felt myself merge with all of the women who were connected to me in lineage, ancestry, friendship and future. I imagined myself in the centre of one of the various circles that I am lucky to be a part of, looking into the glistening eyes of women who struggled to hold themselves dear….to ‘urge yourself one day at a time to listen a little less to the whispers of others and your own ‘other’-Ego- until your desires are not just wishes in thin air but steps to existence.’ These words of Brihadaranyaka Upanishad were rendering me useless in meditation for my quiet stillness of mind was banished by the relevancy that it all had to women as they experience their pregnancy and birth journeys.

It is somewhat disheartening and certainly irritating, as a keeper of birth and guardian of the spirit which surrounds the event, to hear that no matter how much work a woman does inwardly to release fear, relinquish joy and step forth into her light, there are those who wish to tell her she CANNOT.

You can’t,

You won’t,

You’ll see.

When I circle, knee to knee, heart to heart with women of this world and watch vulnerability emerge, it is stunning. She is transforming, moving out of the turtles shell, sticking her neck out, becoming the most fertile animal on the planet, brimming with what she MIGHT do rather than what she might not. But it is not easy, Just as a crowning infants head emerges slowly, tentatively, peeking shyly from the perineum and hiding away between contractions, so is a mother who is attempting to grow in soul and self-assurance.

As we work together, as she murmurs and then cries, whispers but then shouts, works out what she needs to face and release and then begins to do so, there are oftentimes points in which she will tuck her head back into the womb-place of privacy and, sometimes, denial.

‘I do not want to be born into this experience just yet…I can feel the cool air of reality around me but I will stay here, behind the perineum of privacy and where I know it best.’

Like a baby whose shoulders are stuck just a little behind a pelvic bone but can be teased out with a smart flip of the mothers body, so is the woman who is held back by the final fractions of fear, distrust, hesitancy to believe in herself.

I wonder if the females who surround these fragile women seeking support and solace, undulated love and encouraging hugs, would use the language that they tend to, if they knew how close that unborn Wild Woman was to birthing herself into the world without trauma to everything around them, without the ripping of skin or bruises of forces that these woman who speak to her seem so frightened that she might bring.

When we tell a person who is on the brink of transition, whatever that is, that ‘You can’t, you won’t, you’ll see’, it does not mean that she will not. It means that she may do so with fervency rather than grace.

She might ‘succeed’ to spite another.

She might learn that the speech that you use is acceptable to spurt back to you when you need it least.

She might expect that the next generation of women, the ones that will change your Earth too, need nothing more than the idle pity, shake of head, reasons why it WON’T rather than time for each person to fathom how it might.

Whether you are a woman who is approaching a transient time in life- career, birth, spirituality expansion- or a person watching another experience these journeys, contemplate. Meditate. Consider that ‘as your will-so is your deed’. Whatever you are putting out there into the world, you are going to get back.

Mothers: feel the swell of your belly, ask yourself what is your greatest anxiety. Peek your head out of your shell and face it little by little. Laugh when you can, sob when you need to, write out what you fear and burn the paper before your very eyes. Allow women around you to watch you grow and unfurl like the child within you, search their eyes for true support, draw close those who mirror your investment in the emotions and release those who bring fear back to you, just as you let go of the fears for the first time,

Revel in the sacredness that comes with self exploration and the achievement of sisterhood. Enjoy the power and freedom that arises from casting aside all that doesn’t serve you.

As your will- so is your deed. As your surrounding- so is your reality.

And for the rest of us, turn inward, hush your anger at being challenged, let your discomfort slip away and be grateful for the chance to expand. Ask yourself if you are being supportive: are you spurting facts and science and opinion and anecdote that serve no purpose other than to help you feel like you are helping? Are you bringing joy to the table or a disconnect? Are you speaking more than you are listening? Are you looking into the eyes of the person who you say you want to help and recognizing when their head is about to dip back in, or how to help them ease out graceful when their shoulders are well and truly stuck, without ripping them out into stark vulnerability.

As your will- so is your deed. Your actions are seldom forgotten. Ensure that you are remembered for the right reasons and with fondness. We live in a world of circles: what you put in, you get back.

Hoping that light will start to fill the dark spots little by little and that the trend towards supporting each other that is becoming more prevalent continues on an authentic path; hoping that we can all check in with ourselves whenever we can to enquire as to whether our will is serving everyone.

‘Will yourself to hold yourself dear…our fears and memories can influence our desire.’