The Mama Nest & How To Love It

Women, today it is Mother’s Day and the world celebrates us for the daily life that we partake in; serving meals, wiping noses, kissing boo-boo’s, diffusing squabbles during long days, soothing sleepy cries through the short nights and the obligatory sloppy scrambled eggs and bunch of dandelions that make me cry because the thought behind it is more beautiful than any luxury brunch and bouquet ever could be.

Like any other given day I am surrounded by 4 little beings who were born through me.

There were 2 others; they never made it here.

My world, I feel, has been full for a long time.

My womb, even more so.

Today,  I am not alone in being very un-pregnant. I am not inhaling the scent of a newborn; I’m ok with this but…it is unusual. A large portion of the past 10 years of my life have been spent that way. There are others who have not experienced that feeling even once, out of choice or lack thereof.

Where does this leave us? I am lost, here, for a second because I do not know quite where I belong.

My womb, it is empty…

I realise that the thought of being ‘empty’ is bothersome to me, and maybe to you too, often.

That is because we reside in a society that bows to a fullness or richness arising from busy-ness or occupation and so the presumption becomes apparent that a womb filled with no-thing is of lesser value.

Women, whether you await the time of pregnancy, do not desire pregnancy at all or mourn the loss of that stage of life, I am here to gather you together and set the record straight: you will never, ever be empty. Not today on Mother’s day as you wonder when the first or last of your children will arrive, not tomorrow when you weep as you realise that it will never be your reality to expel life from your belly again.

That empty space within you was created to be dark.

That empty space within you was created to be cyclical.

That empty space within you, it manifests and rests and purges and fills and contracts and expands each day that you are breathing.

Though there may be times that it quietens and breaks for a while, there will always be more that comes from its craft of creation; a new career, a fresh idea, a letter to a friend, a shedding of old truths, an awareness of a new one. And it is in those times, when we feel most empty, that we have the potential to swell with wisdom.

That empty space within you where your blood ran freely from; it is ready for a brand new start.

That empty space within you where the bones of your babies formed; it contains a well of memories that only you and your children share.

That empty space within you where you felt life begin and flourish and detach; it is power.

Grieve the feeling of fullness every day, if you wish, but you are as ripe with possibility than the day you conceived your most cherished creations.

Mama’s, when we  birth, the potential is not to become empty- it is to become cold. Warmth left you with the slippery body of your baby, your spirit cracked wide open, and you did nothing to recuperate your heat, your passion, your gusto, your spark. We give ourselves away each day but forget to fill back up and take pride in taking Space in the world. It’s time.

Dry your eyes, now, and let yourself be warmed. Your womb may be silent but it is not vacant. It is so very abundant with the wisdom that these little ones around you right now brought with them.

Those little hands that caress the curves of your cheeks and the crevices of your belly with pure, unconditional love, they are feeling your heart and intuitively soothing your own booboo’s.

Those bright and curious eyes that are watching you now as you try to decipher what was scrawled in your handmade card, they see you on a deeper level than you ever knew before now.

Those feet of the child who is now almost as tall as you, they are embarking now upon a path of initiations in life and the only footsteps that will truly feel safe beside them are yours.

It is Mother’s Day and I am warm. My womb feels like the well of darkness that it was always supposed to be, the place where these little ones who celebrate me today came from and where my grandchildren once resided, too.

How could I ever be empty when I have carried the generations?

How could you be empty when you, too, carry memories of generations gone by.

Though we crave solitude as mothers, it will always feel strange because we and our wombs…we have never been alone.

Your womb nest is waiting to fill with new creations, now. Be warm and surrender.


~Sending love to the raspberry-ripe bellies of all women who came before us, who sit with us and who wait to come~


Image: Emma Hack.